7 Months Pregnant...3 to Go!

My belly grows infinitely larger and baby boy continues to make more room by romping around in there. No joke. I was woken up from a quick snooze one evening when I thought I was rocking in my dream. No, I acknowledged ...I was indeed awake...it was kiddo that was swishing around so hard that it gave me a bit of vertigo! What an active little man.

Now we just went to visit relatives up north and I found the photo I have been wishing for. It is the sneak preview photo of me in my Mom's belly just 2 days before my big debut and my older sister by her side. And my mom wasn't kidding me...we grow straight out!

Yikes! And now that I am pregnant...all I can say is:
Sorry Mom, I was a big baby for your little 5 foot frame. And turn about is fair play, I still have 3 more months to bake this little baby in my oven!

Hugs

I'm not gonna lie, yesterday was a very trying day at work. And if I hadn't already learned the "Dooce" lesson, I would vent about it here. Instead I will let you know how the day ended. With a hug from Curtis which seems to make all things better.

C: Come waddle over here and give me a hug [arms extended]

Me: [indignant as I march over to him] I DO NOT WADDLE!!!

...I settle into my nook on his shoulder wrapped in his arms and sigh a bit more relieved from my day...

Me: [Then in a small voice I ask him] ....Do I?!?

We had a good laugh about it, got to eat dinner together at the table in our new (to us) dining room chairs and the world was right again.

...Not Forgotten

There has been a lot of talk about baby to be, but seriously...my life revolves around this new planet called my belly.

The rest of life has continued, however without my moto. I miss Gracie and when I see other motorcyclist riding along in this awesome mid-70 degree weather I swoon for a quick spin on my bike. [Sigh] At least I will have a few good riding months after I am no longer pregnant. Let's see when my doctor gives me the green light on that endeavor! Oh and sushi...I miss you too.

My first furry child has not been forgotten. I keep trying to sneak a photo of him sprawled out on the back porch sunning himself in this limbo warm weather that Phoenix is still calling winter. He hears me trying to creep about to snap a photo and moves from his position of baking his organs at a good 375 degree sunning. Lenny is doing well, he is back to being trim, and his little white face is getting even more white fur (it makes him look so much older...and cuter).

Most importantly my partner in all this new insanity has not been forgotten. My Curtis is so paramount in my life and I couldn't be more proud to have his child. Right now we are just marinating in the luxury of being able to go out on a whim (okay after a quick pee break before we leave the house, but a whim). Pretty soon we will have to find a babysitter if we want to go out...so if there's a party we're going! This Saturday we will party-hop to another two celebrations at our friends' homes and can't wait to find more opportunities to play.

As for the Christmas tree? Well, we haven't forgotten you...so much as we have just decided not to decorate you with all your lovely ornaments seeing how there are only two more weeks before you go back into storage. After all, you are at home and will be here next year for our enjoyment. And really, can you blame us?!?? It is still in the toasty 70-degree weather here in Phoenix...and winter just doesn't seem to make sense!

NESTING

We just had our last check up and I am relieved to say that I was not called a fatty. My weight gain is on track and I am relieved because I really do try. Do I still indulge? Sure! Yet I try to be sensible...for a small example: instead of chowing on Cheetos, I nibble on Cheddar Sun Chips and in general get a healthy food variety. Kiddo is just getting BIG. Now we can see baby kicking and rolling from the outside of my belly...and the kicks/punches are unmistakable. He is already changing our lives.

Down to three months and the pressure is on. Why exactly? I don't know...hormonal...it is that much closer to being real and I know there will be plenty enough to learn/adjust to once baby is born. I want things to be ready for our little man's big arrival home. I want little projects around the house to be wrapped up, safety is key and cleanliness is paramount.

Friday I could sigh another big sigh of relief...the crib we ordered online came in. Now we have an infant car seat that was handed down to us, the mentioned crib (still in the box, but just happy it is here!) and a very precious wooden rocker. Both of our families had wooden rockers that are still in our parents' homes today. Now I feel like we have a solid tradition and smile every time I pass the nursery-to-be.

Baby Bump

The baby bump grows and grows! Plus it seems to be a magnet for everything...comments, hands, objects and worry. Don't anyone worry, baby is growing big and strong, however I can't help but worry about how big I will be in these last four months I still have to bake!

Even now I am unaware how big it really is...I will confess, I have clipped my new tummy on a door. I never realized how small bathroom stalls can be. Or how long lines in the ladies room really are when kiddo is sitting/kicking/punching your bladder.

Another example of the bump is when you wet your toothbrush before you bring it to your mouth with toothpaste. Ever notice that you drip just a drop of water off of it before it reaches your mouth? Before the baby bump it was somewhere you didn't notice, like on the counter or on the floor. Now I have the perfect shelf in which it drips just that little bit of water on my belly where it is then is absorbed by my shirt and makes me look a mess.

Friends who haven't seen me in a while give me the most honest (and funny) feedback. "Are you smuggling a basketball under there?!?!" I can't help but laugh, it's all of too true. My belly button seems to be unraveling and I will probably be a prego that has the pop-out turkey timer "outtie" belly button.

The biggest shocker is how I actually don't mind people touching my ginormous belly. (Grant it, none have been strangers--that story is still to be told). I really thought that I would absolutely smack hands away before I got pregnant. Now I can't stop touching my belly. It is such an amazing feeling to have baby kick and roll around. I want to share it too...it is a trip that a prego belly is hard and then when kiddo kicks someone hand, it is all of too wonderful to see their eyes light up with surprise.

20+ Weeks

Sometimes I may complain about the symptoms of being pregnant, however I do love being pregnant. It is the most amazing experience and I am always in awe of what a woman's body can do. The pop-out in my belly is only gonna get bigger (it has and will--eep!) but it's good because baby will get bigger too. Currently, our little Ninja is kicking the be-jebus out of me to make more room for itself, it borders on Mommy abuse...however it also means that kiddo is strong and that's a great thing.

Last Friday Curtis and I went in for our 20 week ultrasound. We got to see our little cutie and find out so much more than I ever imagined. They told us everything was healthy (whew!). Baby's liver and kidneys looked great. The bone structure was well developed and then they zoomed in on the heart. The ultrasound tech announced, yup all four chambers are functioning well...and you could see it!!! Holy geez!!! What awesome technology and peace of mind.

All the business of the ultrasound was complete and then she rolled the camera over to the nether-regions of our kiddo. OH, I can see what's going on right there! I looked over at Curtis and I think he was trying to distinguish what he was seeing in the black and white image of the monitor. The tech asked if we wanted to know...heck yeah we do!

[beaming with joy]
World, our sneak preview to our next family member is the addition of our son.

Six Years Ago

Six years ago this month, I married my best friend. We are both independent, strong-willed people...I love that about us. We constantly challenge each other to be better people and can have the honest conversations to make it happen. Curtis and I choose to be together because we don't 'need to'--we WANT to share our lives together.

Just today we shared a very miraculous moment. Our baby kicked on the left side of my belly and we both felt it! It makes me happy kiddo is strong and when Curtis put his hand there, he could experience this huge milestone.

Next week's big event? We find out if our little Spork aka "Ninja-neer" (part ninja, part engineer) is a little boy or a little girl.

I love life's little presents that happen every day.

10 Years Ago

If I think 10 years back from when baby entered our lives, it ends up being monumental. June 20, 2000 I went in for spinal surgery to straighten the scoliosis curve in my spine. I had the threat of being paralyzed, but it would prevent my lungs from collapsing or my heart stopping from the strain of the curve. I am very happy that I can still walk and I only ask that baby gives me the same courtesy. Be healthy and don't break me! Especially if you want a sibling!

Reflecting

I'm not gonna lie, this baby thing is a trip. I am growing a human inside of me....whoah. Already I am at the end of my fourth month. And now that the nausea is gone? I feel much better and am just tripped out that this little pop out in my belly is welcomed. I often get asked, what is it like to be pregnant?

The first 3 months were like having 24/7 sea sickness. You don't want to eat, but doctors say it helps to eat every 2 hours. And for as much as I like eating, it suddenly becomes a chore to shove food in your mouth, constantly. Grant it, you don't actually "eat for 2"...you are only supposed to take in an extra 300 calories per day. Which, when you are feeling pukey is hard to get to your normal food consumption, let alone that extra calorie kick for baby. At the end of the day my goal was to keep the prenatal vitamins down.

Another comparison I make to my mental state was that I felt like I was in charge. It is like typing a letter, feeling like you are conveying your point...then suddenly you look at the computer screen and realize that your hands haven't been on home row. Yeah, you felt productive, but then find out that you have just typed a bunch of garble. That's when you go take a nap while you can because pretty soon there won't be that option!

Honestly I thought it would feel like being a whale...and even though I reserve the right to look like one by the end of this process...I don't even feel fat now. It is a baby instead of the standard issue beer belly. This thing is hard. Not like fun, I have rockin'-awesome-hard-abs, hard...just not blubbery fat that folds when you lean side ways. It is this cute little poke out from my body that will be our child that we get to meet in March! SQUEEEEE! :)

Pee Stick

Yes, I believe most women have had a moment with the pee stick. Am I pregnant? No?!?!? What does this brand define as a positive or negative. One lines, two lines, a plus sign, negative sign, a stinkin' frowny face or do you finally just get one that tells you how it is?!? It is funny when you are trying for kids, for a new twist on life you want the stick to say pregnant. Wrap your head around that single friends!

In July I took the basic test on a Friday, one solid line...I did the test right, no second line. Yup, that meant negative. No baby yet. I went through that weekend thinking I was just having some extra PMS--boobs were sore and I bawled over a movie that was tear worthy...but not the heavy weeping that I did. I had been drinking more water for the last few weeks thinking I was just that dehydrated...I thought. And with drinking more water, I peed more and didn't think too much of that either. For those of you who have been prego, these are all the basic signs (and you are laughing at me). I put them all aside because my last test just said no. And again adding to the signs, I was ravenously hungry all weekend. I didn't eat everything in sight (but I could have). I just kept thinking to myself, 'FAT COW STOP EATING--the stick said NO!'

The week ticked away until Wednesday when I had my dentist appointment. They wanted to take x-rays, so just to be sure, I bought an Clear Blue Easy digital. Before my 7AM appointment I took the test and thought better safe than sorry. And oh mamma! A short blip of a digital hour glass turning and that pee stick just tells you how it is ...P-R-E-G-N-A-N-T. I was elated, I wanted to scream out in joy, but for pete's sake it was before 6AM. All a flutter, I let out a little squeak in the bathroom and did a happy dance. As calm as I could, I crawled back into bed and tried to casually tell Curtis the news. He was going to be a daddy, we were pregnant.


And so life begins...

Oh, by the way....

So when I said I was protective of my family and I had postponed blogging...I really meant it. All I could think about was baby, so it was hard to write about anything else--hence the radio silence.

Curtis and I are blessed with the addition to our family. We will get to meet our baby in March. Kiddo is even waving with its little hand up by the head. Hello internetz!

Japan - the wonderful land of Nihon

So three months ago, I was given the opportunity of a lifetime. My husband made the vacation sacrifice and sent me to Japan with my Mom. It was more than I ever could have expected or wanted.

It really made me grateful for the opportunities that we have made for ourselves and the life we have to look forward to living. I went to Japan excited to see the country and to have bonding time with my mom. We hoped to see our relatives, but had trouble connecting with all of them before we left the states. We got there and received the warmest welcome from my cousin (who has remained my pen pal after all these 25 years) and my Auntie.

Our adventure began with our carry-on only bag packs and a lot of determination to see everything. Soon after our arrival the our other relatives got back into the Tokyo area and invited us to stay with them, then proceeded to spoil us rotten. We got away from all the tourist rat race, it was awesome. Later, my mom and I took The Bullet Train up NE to see our good friend Rachel and her little pup Marco. We saw the real Japan for all its glory, even including some remaining cherry blossoms!

I am still amazed, not only did I get to see Japan...I connected with Nihon and my heart is happy. I became protective of my family, these memories and wanted to lavish in them for a while longer. Now I am ready to share.

Hooray May!

Saturday was the start of May and another day for a great opportunity. Yesterday morning I went to yoga and I feel refreshed. It was mental calm and a great stretch! Sunday/today was that good ache in your muscles where you want to keep sprawling and drawing out your muscles. Every place in my body is effected, my arms when I lifted something, my abs when I went to stand and my legs when I bent down. Very awesome, I miss this feeling. I had ambitious plans to do Pilates this morning, but instead I did yard work and purged the house.

On a different note for mental change: Watch the movie or read the book "Into the Wild"...it will give you a whole new perspective on life. It just makes me realize that when I have everything, I no longer need anything (material).

Green Smoothies

My latest food adventure has been Green Smoothies. I can admit it has an ominous sound...I mean who would want their fruity drink to be green?!? Well count me in...I am addicted! These treats can be made in the blender and are really good for you. The general recipe is 40% greens and 60% fruit. They taste like Jamba or like V-8 Splash with extra fiber...but not creepy grainy fiber. Just yummy. I encourage you to try one....heck, I will even make it for you!

The Death by Blog crew let me know about the Facebook group and the Green Smoothie Challenge has a blog. I have been going strong for a week, love the way I feel and the energy I have. This morning I got a special treat because my hubby made breakfast on a weekday! He took the ciabatta bread, cooked up an egg, melted some cheese and put it in the bread with slices of avocado. YUM.

I have to confess, I am desperately CRAVING the green goodness of my fruit drink still. It is getting the extra servings of vegetables and fruits without unnatural sugar. And I wanted my green smoothie, so much so I was trying to satiate my craving with normal juice as I headed out of the house. I think I will go out of the traditional breakfast/snack realm with my smoothies and have it for dinner tonight. Yes, I like them that much...and yes Curtis I will still fix you a normal dinner.

And get this....are you sitting down? I have even given up my ritualistic morning cup of coffee. [shock and awe] Now, now (before you panic T) and so the rest of you know it is still me plodding away at the keyboard. I haven't given up coffee entirely, it is just an exercise in self-restraint. My company provides us with all the free coffee we want and at a maximum I was up to 2 mugs per day---so I was by no means an addict. Currently I have (maybe) 2 cups a week and can choose when I want that savory flavor and the caffeine jolt. All the yum, none of the caffeinated withdrawal symptoms.

Okay, now go --be inspired! :) ....What will you change up in your daily routine?

Let's Just Pretend...

Let's just pretend there hasn't been this gap in writing and that I haven't been in a funk. Shall we?

I went to visit my parents this last weekend and it really did help to recharge my batteries. They are such giving people and it was nice to be taken care of. Plus my mom and I went over our itinerary for our Japan trip! I am so excited that I get this huge opportunity to travel and to see my relatives while my mom is still around. She even called my Auntie on Friday night (their Saturday) on the phone and arranged some visits. Wish me luck at the osens (hot springs where you are naked!)--I guess it is normal woman bonding time out there for young and old alike.

Ooooh and better yet, I came home to the best husband! Curtis did laundry, vacuumed, took my moto out for quick check-up and even had a roast in the oven for dinner! It was very much like those joke books on Porn for Women (not porn, so feel safe to click on the link and laugh your head off).

Scottish Brogue

I took photos of my washer/dryer on my phone, but they don't do my new appliances justice...so those can come later. I don't believe any of you are on bated breath for those photos.

So lets run you through the last week:

(+) Friday Sushi/Sake Happy Hour with friends--plus shoe shopping! Heaven.
(+) Saturday Renaissance Faire with friends/adopted family - found healthy eats and indulged in others that weren't (think cookies & cream gelato - yum!)
(-) Sunday consisted of 4 different stores to find a light fixture for the kitchen that I could actually like (sorry babe)
(+) Curtis installed another florescent fixture to replace the old one that was shorting out - thank you for being such a real handy man!
(±) Monday I was summoned for jury duty, again (payment for our American privileges, dread to go/potentially a boring day)
(+) Tuesday ordered the NEW kitchen cabinets -wow!
(±) Wednesday - We still can't decide on counter tops (a great luxury problem to have)
(-) Thursday - Horrific motorcycle accident, pray for them and their families...and PLEASE keep a watchful eye while on the road for your fellow travelers

(+) Friday/Today
In my own little tribute I rode into work today on my moto. It would be silly to be scared, but accidents like this give you a whole new gravity on the realities of the road. So today I overcame any apprehension and chose to be cautious, but to get out there and do what we love....RIDE.

As I fueled up Gracie this morning, a city worker was gassing up his truck and came around the Circle K pumps to tell me to "be careful riding out there." I nodded in appreciation at his fatherly comment and said I would. Then he did a double take at my moto and enviously complimented "niiice Harley." :)

On a lighter note, I pulled into the office the same time as a co-worker. She eyeballed me as I slung my leg off the bike and took my helmet off. Later after she had made her cup of tea, she came by my cube in her thick Scottish brogue and confessed...

"I saw you ride in on your motor-bike this morning and I got out of my mini-van...and it just made me feel old."

I couldn't help but exclaim how adorable she was! It was such a honest comment and in her accent it made it even more endearing. People around us make life wonderful...and I can't wait for this weekend.

Positive attitude, good times ahead...

Domesticated Diva

Earlier in the week I rummaged through the salvaged pile of sundries in the middle of our garage. Our stuff had been boxed, bagged and covered with a plastic tarp which was then in turn covered by drywall dust, mud and paint over spray. I got myself shimmied around the edge of the garage between the boxes and the garage door/walls and dug in, under and through the muck.

I FOUND THE WINDEX!!! Who knew I could be so freakin' excited to clean my mirrors and windows. Got a bar of soap to replace the paper thin traces of soap that dwindled in our shower and found another tub of Lysol Wipes. Who knew I was so domesticated?!?

I believe tomorrow I get my new washer and dryer. I will take photos like a proud parent and post. Again in an odd twist, showing that I am getting older...I am excited to do laundry. The fluff and fold was a nice idea, but it was still an inconvenience...the conveniences of home still rule.

Now there is great talk of new cabinets and counter tops as the insurance-paid flooring goes in. I will keep you updated as we figure it all out.

Refreshed

I was on a natural high as I slung my leg over my trusted Harley and zoomed into work. I skipped into the office after the exhilerating and brisk ride this morning. It felt really good to get out on the moto and just feel free. I tore up the freeways going 75 MPH and just let it all rip down the freeway...I love the rumble of the engine, it just started my day out right!

With all the random bad stuff that had been happening, I had this huge fear something bad would then in turn happen on Gracie. Thankfully my guardian angel is by my side and I have been unharmed these last two Fridays. Curtis has also been riding into work (safely)...and it is just nice to know we still enjoy it. Even better that we have the mellow Arizona weather to do it in! I can't imagine having to winterize our motorcycles and pack them up because of snow! It makes me sad and I think I would go through withdrawls of riding.

We may not always be in love with AZ, but we can absolutely be thankful for what we have.

Bullet Points

We all like concise info...here's a bullet point update:

• Lenny vs Cat - pup went from looking like a Greyhound to looking like Spuds McKenzie (Bull Terrier on stilts) since his muzzle got infected and puffed up huge
  
• Lenny took a trip to the vet, some doggie pain killers and antibiotics later...and he is okay
  
• Cat sighting - he's alive
  
• The House is almost back to normal - still no appliances and floors, but even more back to livable space :)
  
• SRP is doing maintenance on the service box in our backyard...servicing that only happens once in 20 YEARS is happening of course this month also and that means strangers are also accessing our backyard consistently
  
• And on a bright and happy note, I am typing this on my new laptop
  
• The recipe quest is not quite on track...but we are eating some new foods (mostly soup, I don't know why because most of the time I avoid eating them --shrug, go figure)
  
• Soon we will take a trip away from all this and go to Colorado to see friends and family

Curiosity (almost?) Killed the Cat

Lenny turned 7 years old last Tuesday and this Monday, he met his first cat. Lenny has a high prey drive (he was a Class A racer in his career) and we were always curious to see what would happen if he met a kitty face-to-face. Now I know.

We were getting our insulation blown back in our roof today, so Lenny went to stay at Uncle T's house so he didn't get an ulcer listening to a "vacuum" going all day in the roof. He was a good boy all day, I let him outside for the bathroom and while outside he kept sniffing around where a kitty sat watching him on a bench. Lenny eventually circled to the back and the cat moved.

Our sight hound saw. And the chase ensued with a very unsuspecting cat who didn't know he had to run that fast. Back and forth, cat couldn't get over the fence (too fat), couldn't get through an open slat on the fence and then couldn't get under T's porch in time. And then the scariest thing ensued, Lenny, pounced it like a toy, that awful cat MEOW-AAAWWWWING sound droned out and the scratching began. I started yelling...shouting, nothing broke it up. He was in hunt mode.

I jumped up on the wooden porch and the clamor allowed the cat to finish going under the porch and for me to pull Lenny inside the house dripping in blood.

This is what happens when he met the cat:













I am not sure how the cat is doing, I really hope for the best. I can't blame years of breeding and instinct...it's just what greyhounds do...and not all chase cats. And don't get the wrong idea that my Lenny is bad...just still learning what retired life is all about. Perhaps some day he will take up golf instead.

Sunday Fun Day

Today we made our way over to Costco to do a bit of restocking and while there we tried some samples. In the past we have made some bulk errors on food choices, today we found one in store:

Vegan Bocca Burger samples...



...topped with provolone cheese.


Well, there went vegan treat --and we had to giggle at the failed effort. :)

Food Aversions - What's Yours?

I am not a picky eater, the one thing I damn near refuse to eat is okra. It is a gooey vegtable that oozes slime and doesn't even want to be a part of itself. Grant it, I have been given the argument for fried okra a few times...but what isn't all but remedied when fried?!? I am not buying in, I know what it was before the grease.

My weakness is salt. Not cake, not sweets...salt.

Today I could totally relate with a friend's food aversion. At lunch I made a pick up order for a yummy Black Bean Burger from Pita Jungle and subbed the garlic potatoes with brown rice so I could eat that side later. Got back to the office, opened the box and all the burger toppings were strewn about the to-go box. There were tons of long pickle slices all jumbled about the bottom and the juice had leaked onto my rice. [I actually cringed]. I love the salty, crunch of pickles on burgers---but when I thought about the dill pickle juice getting all over my brown rice? Gick, that little place in the back of my jaw locked up tight and I shuddered.

Now I know how E must feel every time she sees a pickle on her plate. Poor girl.

UP FISH!

Last weekend my friend encouraged me to buy whatever crap food I wanted while at the grocery store because I only 1/2 hour out from my house burning. So I brought potato chips into the house (2 kinds) and a ton of beer. I was crazy as I was still trying to play hostess and brought some sour cream to make dip...never got around to that.

This weekend I hear ...

UP FISH! I-I CAPTIAN. [BONK, BANG, CRASH!] Ow. [Drilling] Can you see my light? No, can you see my light?!? Crap, give me a wall plate.

...Being yelled from inside my construction zone home and from the ceiling. You see, Curtis is geeking out. While the insulation in our roof has been sucked out and soon to be replaced, he decided it is the perfect time to put Ethernet drops throughout our home. [CO - C would be so proud --at the technology improvements]. And it was good timing for wiring, but both Lenny and I were not happy having our routines disturbed again.

I nervously nibble on pumpkin seeds in my computer room trying to hole myself away from the commotion. At one point I left in the rain to get out of the house to run some errands for the other intention to keep my sanity. Lenny was left with the boys and has always been apprehensive of the ceiling...think Chicken Little --The Sky is Falling mentality with ceiling fans. Now our home's ceiling has been on fire, making vacuuming sounds (insulation coming out), people climbing around up in there, painting and evaluating our roof trusses, etc.

Maybe there is something to his skitty greyhound theory.

RIP Mini-Costco

We are blessed. We've had this catastrophe in our home, but it is only a portion of our home. I think at this point I am repeating this for myself and also to emphasize to you dear readers I am not complaining...just trying to work through all the emotions that go along with this event. I can't begin to imagine how people cope who have lost everything. It is all very unsettling and a destruction of routine and generally life as you knew it to exist when you are displaced. It is nothing to dismiss.

The insurance company and the contractors are taking great care of us and the "process" is moving along quickly "on-site." I feel so detached from what is happening...

Now we come home to see what has changed while we were away at work. They are like strange little gnomes with angel wings combing through our house, they muck things about--but they do it for the best. Yesterday I left the house in a very emotional state with the contractors there inventorying our stuff. I suddenly realize the huge amount of things I have squirreled away in the laundry room/garage area. We shop in bulk at Costco, so there are tons of sundries, cleaning product and paper goods that have been thrown away! It freaks me out to throw away that much stuff when I question if it was damaged. They are the experts and reassured me that...now is no time to be "green" (for the environment's sake) and it could be a health hazard to use these products. And I do see the point when it is toilet paper & Kleenex...which you put in some very sensitive areas...and then plastic forks & paper plates that you could ingest particles from them. [ick]

I saw the black garbage bags and inquired what is in there?!? My stomach twinged as he described some of the items being thrown away. Still all silly things...an ASU "Sparky" beanie baby I bought in college for school spirit, the stuffed bear that was given to me before my spinal surgery...I swallowed hard and stammered that..i-i-it's okay (I guess). It is just stuff. But this time, I didn't believe myself when I said it. Yes, they are just objects...I didn't expect anything to touch me and in the end I still have the memories associated with those things. Maybe it's more about the feeling of it being taken away from me.

Curtis put it well --"what they deem replaceable may be invaluable to us." So I asked to not have C's childhood train set thrown away (that was sitting in some insulation soup). And left the house for the day to return to work and force myself to focus on the normal.

...Now it is just a waiting game to see what surprise is around the next corner.

We're a Team

I feel as if I should give an update due to the general upsetting nature of my last post (our home was on fire!). It is all still settling in and I think we are still trying ignore the fact that we could have easily lost our whole house. For the most part we can try and ignore that portion of our house since it is all a mess.

We are still living here, it gives us a nice sense of normalcy. Our house is currently a construction zone, but to have them act so fast on repairs is amazing. Go awesome insurance company with great contractors! They brought an industrial sized hepa-filter over on Monday to suck out the lingering smoke and more importantly to cut down on the insulation particles still floating about. This sucker processes all the air in our home 10-times over in a 24 hour period! For all those who know my OCD tenancies....this makes me giddy to think the air is clean!

They sent a crew over to wipe down our kitchen and that was a huge amount of stress off of me. If you wiped a single finger and inch down our counter top you would pull it up and evaluate a layer of black cellulose particles had gathered to coat your fingertip. [ick] I was going batty because I simply could not keep up with it and didn't deem my kitchen sanitary to eat or prepare anything within.

So slowly the stress is seeping away. Curtis and I are a great team and are handling this together. He takes care portions of the construction, coordinating, taking time off of work and then I switch off with time away from work and the logistical portions of the insurance. We are working to make our house a full home again.

Thank you for all your well wishes. We are all alive and uninjured, so that's what matters...everything after that is just stuff.

House Flambe'

On a multitude of amazing levels and being thankful for fire fighters/the fire house being just down the street, our own home is not reduced to a sad little foundation of ash. Everyone is fine and we are counting our blessings as only 10% of our house is gone. And again we are safe and grateful for astute responders...dispatchers, police, fire fighters, our friends, the on-call insurance agent, the contractor and the electrician who came at the end of their own Saturday to make sure the smoldering was gone from our rafters and wouldn't return to harm us.

Today there were big plans for the weekend, especially today. Dental appointment, Lenny nail trim, meeting up with friends at a beer festival, helping a friend pick out her wedding dress, a dinner out...luckily our rally point was our house and we were all running a 1/2 an hour behind to bolt out with our plans for the day. In a string of coincidences, it allowed me to walk through the garage, into the laundry room, into the house and to repeat those steps as I smelt burnt marshmallows!?!?? Beth thought it was popcorn when she walked in the living room. I checked, nothing visually singed by the hot water heater in that room, boys to investigate further, C reached up and touched the ceiling. A hot ceiling. (yikes!) More inspection through the attic crawl space ensued on a ladder with a fire extinguisher and eventually...where there is smoke, there really is fire!

After a very long and emotional day of 4 fire trucks, 5 cop cars, our street being closed down and our access room and garage being gutted and hosed/foamed down...we have had an electrical fire. F-I-R-E in our roof. The fire crews were all amazed that things were in such an early stage and we were repeatedly told how lucky we were and the gravity of us being just minutes later...or being home at night while this quiet death crept over our heads through our roof insulation [shudder]...or to come back from our days errands to find wet smoldering rubble where once our address numbers hung high.

So grateful we didn't rush out of the house without inspecting. And the pups. Oh the pups, we almost left them at home! Not only Lenny, but B's two doggies too!!!! My heart breaks to think of them trapped inside a house aflame. Again, everyone safe. [deep breaths] It would be maddening to be displaced from our home, to return to our daily lives, to start over with the essentials (hell to even have a scrap of paper to write my claim number on!!!!), being virtually homeless...astounding. In a stark contrast we just don't have hot water, dry wall, insulation (in a portion of our home that we can quarantine) and a very dusty home in the interim time.

We are exhausted...however we have each other safe, a dog to love, friends to hug, a home to keep us warm, we have a computer to type on, undisturbed beds to sleep in and wonderful locals who came to our rescue.

Thankful, to say the very least.

UPC Code

The week has been stressful busy, but luckily the ladies called and we did a happy hour/dinner (we try for one each month). It was very refreshing just to go out for a few hours and have that girl talk time. Where you just lay every problem out on the table, you don't expect it will be solved and it gets to be a nice vent session with the added bonus of beer! Then from there you may get feedback, laughed at or the shot of reality you needed to get over it. Always a good time and pooling of ideas.

Lately I have been trying to organize myself for the farmer's market trips or to join a CSA group (Community Supported Agriculture). In Phoenix I also have the option to have fresh veggies/fruit delivered to my door every Thursday morning before 7AM...it would be like Christmas once a week! And I wouldn't have to fight the grocery store crowd as often.

Most of the ladies commented they could never go through that much fresh anything in a week. Believe me, I have also had fresh food turn into fuzz balls in my forgotten crisper drawers. Well, I told them of my recent diet endeavors and whew! It is the same question--so are you vegetarian now or something?!? (It never has a fully encouraging tone) For Pete's sake I am eating at Buffalo Wild Wings...does this look like I have gone full veggie yet? Grrr. Then the next question proceeds (from any group, not just my gal pals) of what am I then? Really, do I require a label?!?

I like the idea of turning veg, but for now I could be called "flexitarian" ...maybe 3 small servings of meat find their way into my diet per week. Normally when I go out to a restaurant and for now I am still a confused cook who will soon reinvent my pantry staples for most of the recipes I would like to try. Flexitarian just seems like a cop out...maybe I should go with a classic label...something like "Omnivore Light." Whatever you want to call it...I feel alert and light and am loving it!

My Lungs Still Work...

...and my dog is still cute.

After more than a week, I went back to the gym...and by no miracle. My work out buddy went home to walk her husband and I still went! Now it's not to say that I didn't have some prodding or a gym bag already packed in the back seat of my car....but it was a cardio-rific 25 intense minutes later I was seen fleeing the institution. I beat traffic to get home to my Lenny.

We played fetch...and then I made a fetching meal:
Zucchini (1) , yellow squash (1), mushrooms, tomato (2), fresh basil, onion, garlic chopped and everyday seasoning (herb grinder from TD). Sauteed in a pan with some olive oil. Then placed on a bed of brown rice.

"Mad props" C says for the Matthew idea of frozen banana introduced to the food processor with some soy milk. Then topped with chopped pecans...and we couldn't resist adding vanilla wafers (not Matthew approved). It was a yummy, creamy dessert!

Meat Free Monday

I have just celebrated my first Meat Free Monday and I encourage you to join me next week. Sir Paul McCartney says you should. :)

Here's the website with recipes: http://www.supportmfm.org/getinvolved/

The Open Road Calls...

My moto has been sad for a whole week now. She sits in the garage waiting patiently to be taken out onto the open road. When I leave in the morning to go to/from work I apologize for not taking her out and hop into my mini-SUV. I really wish I could ride every day...Gracie's shiny, chrome-y self calls to me and I have to leave her behind. Well, this Friday that wasn't the case. I got to wear jeans to work (instead of the traditional suit and heels) and that means I am riding in!

Love it! The mornings are now cool (but not cold) and the evenings are so nice to cruise around. To add an extra bonus of riding the motorcycle in, it means I get to take the carpool lane home and save at least 10 minutes on my return commute at rush hour. Once home, I was welcomed by my hubby and his freshly washed moto in the driveway. Both handsome devils edging to get going somewhere out and about that night. Ab-so-lutely.

We decided to go up to Fountain Hills so we could enjoy a ride without much traffic. We didn't even stop for dinner...just all riding. A quick 50 mile jaunt up north and back was exactly what we needed to kick off the weekend right. We chased each other like little kids on an asphalt playground. It gives me such a feeling of pride to be my own driver, to have my own Harley and to see C looking studly on his own hog. We let out the throttles on the highway, putted around in a neighboring town, then a quick stroll around the park before we headed back home to get Lenny his dinner.

Being pup parents sure can be easy and spontaneous. Better enjoy these simple times of life now...before they get even better later!

Noms

So have you been curious what I've been eating this week? Well there is still meat in my diet for the time being. I am phasing it out of my house, going out for sushi b-day celebrations and integrating vegetarian-ish meals.

The "-ish" comes from last night's dinner of Mushroom & Herb Risotto from Trader Joe's (the ingredients include chicken stock from the box). Other than that it is pretty friendly. To make it a meal I added fresh portabella mushrooms (2 large/chopped), broccoli (2+ cups), roasted red bell pepper and grated parmesan to our box-of-yum:


Earlier in the week I made a favorite of Curtis' --this one's shocking cause he is not a fish fanatic. Mahi-Mahi tuna steaks dipped in a pistachio breading (crushed nuts, salt & pepper) over romaine lettuce, tomatoes and an avocado dressing.
Rough recipe:
Chop nuts (1/2 cup) combine with spices (1/4 tsp), bread fish, pan fry in olive oil to brown each side, 1-2 min each side. Then cook for remainder of time in oven (appx 10 min).

While baking, prep bed of romaine lettuce, cut tomatoes and make the dressing. Puree avocado (1), grated sweet onion (1T), add olive oil (1-2T), water (1T), lime juice (1T) and mix to desired consistency.

Combine and enjoy!

If you want a meatless alternative - last week I used seasoned bread crumbs, sliced egg plant and baked in my new (mini) convection oven till GBD.

Young and Dumb

I tell you this epic error so you do not do the same...and BTW don't read this while eating.

Almost three years ago I was still looking for the quick fix way to lose weight. I just had a co-worker and some of her family members go through the "Lemonade Diet" and look amazing for it. It was explained to me that it was a fasting, but you were still drinking in all your "proper nutrients" while detoxifying [shudder at the memory]. Really it is a colon cleanse and I bought the book: The Master Cleanser by Stanley Burrough

Okay, like I said the WRONG thing to do and I learned my lesson the hard way. You will probably get it from these ingredients mixed up and chugged downed all day; lemon juice, Grade B maple syrup, cayenne pepper and water. Then laxatives in the form of a tea called the punny name: Smooth Move (at night) and then in the morning you drink QUART of warm water and sea salt to push whatever is left--> out [vile]. The objective is to do this for minimum of 10 days! INSANITY.

I can tell you that it did not work for me and I in no way advocate this cleanse. I have flash backs of this horrific choice and I had to throw away the containers I made the liquid-death in. I started on a Thursday night (had Friday off for some reason--planned to be at home for the literal sh*t storm that was going to happen). By Sunday/Day-3 I was so weak. I had gone for ground, I had zero energy and all I could do was poo mucus out my anus and lay back down on the couch in exhaustion. Supposedly the point, but I had nothing left to give...and for this project I was going to be a quitter.

Moral?
- When life gives you lemons? --Do not make this lemonade.
- Still had a supportive husband back then (why he can live his life with crazy is sometimes a mystery)
- My butt was not happy...however this is why I believe that dairy is a mucus producing food. I have seen my own evidence. Graphic I know--not sorry.
- If you want to do a cleanse, then do the purest raw food diet --that will get you pooping!
- Pooping is essential (if you've ever had surgery, you know it is really life or death to start that process again if you ever want to eat solid foods)
- There is never a quick fix
- Eat stupid, don't starve yourself
- Eat the right things and be active/exercise
- Stop making excuses, everyone can do it.

Ever feel like you know too much?!? It's like you know you got to this earth cause your parents did the biological tango one night and *poof* you are here. Then it is a whole 'nother thing to walk into the house and your parents are getting it on. TMI --I have heard your horror stories and I am thankful to have not had my eyes scarred by this actual event.

We've gotten the same way about our food. We don't see how 'A' (our food) got to 'B' (us/the consumers) and there is a LOT of production into making 'A' happen! Now I am warning you that I am going to stay on my soap box...so decide if you are in this with me...cause I am going to be talking a TON about what I am finding out and henceforth blurting out my thoughts here. You've been warned.

I don't want to be scarred into not eating foods, but wow. Knowledge is power and I can't ignore the overwhelming amount of science, documentation and results that are getting our food made/to the grocery store. Scoring out my own sugar/process food intake creeped me out and I eliminated "white" food from my house (marshmallows, you can stay for Lenny's benefit). I watched Food Inc. and thought, okay...buy local. I read The China Study and went whoa, okay I guess I will eat the highest quality of meat in extreme moderation, I read the Skinny Bitch series and that is the smack in the face I needed. Someone asking...are you stupid--why haven't you changed your ways already?!? [sigh] Life is on it's head and the transition begins.

Also it begins with a jolt. I watched Our Daily Bread last night and I recommend you see this artsy-fartsy film at home on Play x2 speed. Go normal rate to hear the beginning sounds of each scene (mostly the machinery parts) and hold your jaw up (if you can) while you watch the chickens and cows go through their "process" in real time. It still goes disturbingly fast and I was appalled. I have watched exposes' before and shrugged them off...now with part of the knowledge behind the industry---I am so turned off by meat. And I was really affected, the slaughter and inhumane treatment is extreme...but really I am more disgusted in myself that I have supported this maximized industry. Tsk, tsk...another shame ribbon for me.

The only so called "luxury" that I can inflict upon myself is my cherished sashimi and the naughty white rice bundled in little deliciousness of sushi. (BTW - I switched my house to brown rice only and have totally confused my mom...I haven't even "written home" to let her know I am thinking of eliminating meat...or at least eliminating it as much as they do in traditional Japanese cooking).

I still don't know where exactly I will go with this, but I know that I have my best friend at my side. My Irish, meat-and-potato loving husband is on board with me and is totally supporting my choices. [*glowing * proud *] I cook, so to a certain degree he is subject to it. However, there is more to it and he is not forced to do anything. Just as he supports me, I am not scandalized that he will choose to enjoy meaty treats outside of my kitchen. Hell, I am not opposed to cooking him meat and then I don't eat it. Sunday I did that exact thing for him as I had hummus and a salad with sunflower seeds. I also added to his plate a grilled chicken breast, the smell of chicken really threw my tummy for a flip --but I haven't been eating much (if any) meat and I feel great.

Love it!!! "Reading is Sexy" is a bumper sticker that adds a little truth and humor to the world!!!

And an update that The New Hotness (my 2009 Hyundai Santa Fe) and I have had some bonding time on some road trips up north. We are now adequately settled into our new life together and my new little spoil continues to indulge. Malibu is now a saluted memory.

The last rain storm revealed that my cute little car has function and made me "squee" with delight over the fact that I have a rear windshield wiper. And that it is truly a useful amenity on a SUV.

Hey, laugh if you'd like...but if you can't enjoy the simple things in life, what can you enjoy!?!??

Everything in Moderation, Including Moderation...

Now I don't tend to follow this rule often. Here is an example that makes Curtis laugh and shake his head at me. One Girl Scout cookie season in college I overindulged in Thin Mints. Yeah, just sat there in my papa-san chair in my apartment with a frozen roll of thin mint cookies until all I had was an empty tube of plastic wrapping. Then I proceeded to get sick and throw up a brown, minted sugary concoction that shall have ever scarred me from wanting a taste of his mint (green) chocolate ice cream.

Things you learn are not always pleasant, nor are they pleasing to the ears. I want to be up front about this new journey that I embarking on because I feel it is important and I am toying with the idea of laying it all out on the public line of blog-o-sphere. You must understand that I can be a fence sitter and I can be an all or nothing kind of girl too. I am damn stubborn and have always been cautioned to keep my privacy. The more I read other's blogs, the more I am compelled that what we put out there helps others to not feel as alone!

So the hope is in my on-going quest to be a better person, you can soak in the information with me. On a very quick synopsis in my recent adult life:

• We make the effort to buy in our local community (amazing what politics and city taxes will do to one's opinion)
• I vowed to use reusable grocery bags (great deal at 1 Bag at a Time - factoids are there, then go to products in the top menu bar to buy/see the variety). Confession: I still have an "addiction" to Target bags for mini trash can liners.
• Also to rid our home of the caustic chemicals and go for a more natural/environmentally safe approach in cleaning products (I looked into making soap...lye and lard don't really appeal to me as a hobby).
• A year ago we started using up all the white flour and sugar out of our house (haven't bought any more since--feeling healthier for it)
• This year it is to limit processed foods and go as wholesome as we can

The last one leads to the biggest revolution and one that really my gut has always told me: A wholesome diet is paramount. When I eat too much sugar my body rejects/ejects it. The severe reduction in white/refined sugar makes it now seem like crack - e.g. having a bakery piece of banana bread at an event had me virtually moan over the feeling of little sugar crystals crunching under my teeth. Crazy right?!? But, sugar restriction --that's how my mom even raised us for as long as she had control over what went into our little mouths and I am thankful for it. The extreme of that situation is one summer my sister and I scoured the house for a sugary bit. We thought we had the mother load with a found box of Baker's Chocolate in the top of the pantry...instead we met our bitter end there and my mom could claim victory that our home was an oasis of health.

Dinner time was always a serving of meat, a salad, a vegetable and starch (normally white rice or the occasional potato-something). My mom always cooked dinner, sent us to school with brown bag lunches (sandwich & fruit/veg) and was there to make us a snack when we got home from school (celery with PB and maybe even raisins on top of that) and Dad made sure we always had our breakfast before we were off to school. I am lucky to be so loved and criticize nothing my parents did for our family's nutrition--we had only the best.

Now in reading about nutrition that foundation is confused (to say the least). The little skittles in my head have exploded and I am in the process of sorting out what I want to do. To eat meat? OR not to eat meat?!? I can't even believe I am asking myself this question.

VEGETARIAN

That's right, I said it...VEGETARIAN. People act like it is a bad word and get all uppity once you talk about excluding meat. Not cool. How about focusing on all the yummy, nutritious fruits, vegetables, fruit and whole grains. (And dairy if you so wish). Yes, I drank the proverbial Kool-Aid...but I also think I should cut down on my sugar content too. ;)

Confession Time: I am sure I balked when people said vegetarian to me and I thought...wha?!?!? No meaty goodness?!?? Tsk, tsk I was uneducated (I give myself a shame ribbon). Met a vegan friend and he made me want to be a better person...and more realistically showed me it was a feasible option. He challenged himself to go "raw" for 30 days and documented how hard that was for him to eat that diet. ...Hell, I didn't think there would be anything harder than vegan! In this blog he gave his honest view...

Then I have my dear, dear friend who I infinitely trust who went vegetarian and now vegan in stages. And she deserves full credit for the diet epiphany because she loved me enough and sent me the book: The China Study by T. Colin Campbell, PhD and Thomas M. Campbell II.

I recommend just reading it, I can't describe it because you should make your own conclusions and that is what the research allows you to do. Now this is no Alice in Wonderland story, but a full-on case study full of scientific knowledge and real life application. The general premise is he was raised a farm boy who grew up on the great American diet of meat, dairy and the general assortment. His breadth and depth of knowledge led him to the choice of eating a plant-based diet. He doesn't push his views, nor will I because you have to come to your own conclusions. I went into this book not knowing the premise, but it was recommended, I trusted that, was open-minded and know I have my own decisions to make and work through. For tonight, I will leave it at that...but I will have more to reveal in my "behind the scenes" 2-year journey that up until now I haven't given a formal voice.

Rabbit Time

The bunny lives a very healthful diet and stopped to tell me the time on her pocket watch before running to the tea party. I can agree that vegan is super healthy diet if done right. Personal choice for me is that I don't have that dedication or desire to eliminate my meaty treats. My wonderland rabbit was most concerned about the built in yo-yo policy with Phase 1. Agreed. I don't think there is a perfect diet, but Phase 2 is the tunnel I am going to fall down and if it makes you nervous, just think of me having everything in moderation and the smallest amount possible of refined white sugar and flour.

I have nixed the Phase 1 idea of my diet plan and have returned to working out after kicking this cold. My path will be complex carbohydrates, whole grains, limited sugar, fruits, a bit of dairy, lean meats and lots of veggies. And my key to losing the weight will be exercise, portion control and plenty of hydration with water.

Be careful with what you choose and make healthful life choices that will last --that is a true diet. I would advise against products that read as: "Eat me. Drink me." You probably will grow and shrink many times over, just ask Alice.

Make life changes are right for your body and never stop learning.

The Queen of Hearts

Okay, now this is a parallel universe I dropped down into a path where I thought it was healthy. Instead the Queen of Hearts does care here...told me 'OFF WITH HER DIET' and I didn't get to the tea party before being kicked out of Wonderland. Now I am really confused on this whole nutrition quest.

I will have to chase after that little vegan rabbit and make her explain. More book reading to come and when I find a path that is right for me, I will tell you all which burrow I drop into next.

Alice, tumbling down that rabbit hole...

Since I have the sniffles and am not going to the gym, I wanted to take this week and focus on food. Not just any food, every food that runs through my house and what is in it. Last year I started to read labels and count calories to see what my daily caloric intake was all about vs. expenditure via exercise that I added back into my routine.

This year it is knowing what is actually IN my food. You see, my brain has gotten stagnant and I am blaming my unhappiness on other elements in my life. So, instead of being just any bitch with boredom...I want to be the "skinny bitch in the kitch." Sunday I watched the movie Super Size Me, I expected it to gross me out and send me into some shock. --No, it was totally what I expected obese Americans gorging on cheap, available food --sadly predictable and a vicious cycle of food addiction.

Tonight I watched Food Inc. ---that is what has led the battle cry to start local. I was inspired by a local restaurant that was implemented into ASU ever since Curtis took me there for lunch. Engrained is all about local sustainability and being environmentally friendly while still serving the masses. I give them a proper nod of respect.

So bunny, look out below cause this little explorer is coming in!

2010 - Returning to Old Habits

It seems silly to go back to "old" habits...but those were the good ones I used to have. Like here's an earthshaking idea: only eating until you are full. I became far to indulgent and stopped listening to my body. Drinking soda and not playing tennis...all other miscellaneous contributors to my own weight gain.

So now, like the bandwagon of folks I am jump starting my daily diet by doing the South Beach Phase I. It is intended to lessen/eliminate your sugar cravings and take you into a low-carb life diet. For the next 2 weeks there will be no bread, no sugar, no alcohol and most painfully no fruit. I've done this diet before and it is a positive life change...and pretty effective for diabetics I would think.

Currently I have risen back to 152 on the scale and need to find the gym again. This week I focus on the fresh food, raising my water intake and getting over a head cold. Next week I jump back on the cardio train!